What a tremendous journey this has been! I wonder if I would have ventured on this path had I known that it would lead me here? You see, where most people have a fear of failure, I have more of a fear of success. I am terribly perturbed by the thought that something I do or achieve might force me out of my comfort zone. I feel very content being a stay-at-home Mum to my three little ones and no amount of fame or fortune could entice me away from my safe and somewhat cloistered existence.
So, how did I get to this point, the point of publishing a novel? Well, God knows me; no surprise there. Apparently, the best way to motivate me is to just not reveal too much. I dedicated my life to Him many years ago and pledged my obedience to His voice. I have no regrets. Obedience to Him has been the most wonderful, refreshing, joyful, healing, exciting, redemptive choice I could have made; not to mention the freedom that I experience!
So, that’s how I got here. I just listened and obeyed. When I started feeling that this story needed to be told, I asked my Mum to write it. When she said, ‘no’, I asked her to help me write it. When I started to write and get bogged down, He told me to lay it down; so I did. When He revealed to me many months later that I was to write it as a novel, I started writing. Any time I got stuck I just closed my eyes and asked Him to show me what happened next.
The result is that I don’t feel very justified in taking the credit for this book. Sure, I typed it, I put in the hours, the late nights and made it all happen but truthfully, this is His story. A story birthed in Heaven and revealed on earth to someone willing to slow down, and listen and then to obey.
My personal ambition with this book was to record the story of my grandmother’s life for my family. I’ve done that. I’m proud of it and every minute, every late night, every tear shed was worth it just to get it into the hands of my Aunts Liz and Sari, my Mum, my brother and sister, and my cousins.
I have given this book back to the One who gave it to me. If He wants it to be shared then I trust Him to make it happen. If He asks me to do something, He already knows that I’m listening and ready to obey in a heartbeat. Fame and fortune or not on my agenda. Healing and redemption are. I want to spread the news about this book because this is a story that has brought new life to me and is touching the lives of my family. If there is even the remotest chance that it could impact lives beyond that, then I will lay down all my fears and jump into the safety of His arms to go wherever He takes me.
So, in an act of obedience, I joyfully share with you the news that my novel, Bedstemor, is now complete and available on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk. Here is the promo video I made. Is it raw? Yes! Do I feel vulnerable? Oh, yes! But, I know that He asked me to do this and so I did it. I don’t need to know why, just that I trust Him.